I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to chose where we come from, we can still chose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we try to feel okay about them.

Some kids look at me strange in the hallways because I don't decorate my locker, and I'm the one that beat up Sean, and cried about it after he did it. I guess I'm pretty emotional.

We accept the love we think we deserve.

And in that moment, I swear, we felt infinite.

He's a wallflower.

I hope it's the kind of second side that he can listen to whenever he drives alone and feel like he belongs to something whenever he's sad. I hope it can be that for him.

I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.

Girls are weird, and I don't mean that offensively. I just can't put it any other way.

I look at people holding hands in the hallways and I try to think about how it all works. At the school dances, I sit in the background, and I tap my toe, and I wonder how many couples will dance to "their song." In the hallways, I see the girls wearing the guys' jackets, and I think about the idea of property. And I wonder if anyone is really happy. I hope they are. I really hope they are.

Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.

It was the kind of kiss that I could never
tell my friends about out loud. It was the
kind of kiss that made me know that I was
never so happy in my whole life.

So, this is my life.
And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and

I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.